i just cut my wrist, and i didnt want to, and i hate this because it rules everything. i want to take it back, i feel sooo stupid, it just makes me feel disgusting, why cant i stop doing it, why am i so incapable of getting myself out of here, there are millions of people out there that have suffered way more than me, and they dont do this. im sitting here, with my wrist bleeding down onto my arm (dont worry its not deep) because i couldnt figure out how to deal with anything i was feeling, idiot! i like the calmess that it gives, if only for a second, but when i do i hate myself so much, i fucking hate everything about it, i feel like an alien, thats the only word i know that describes this, i feel like no one gets it, even though i have the most supportive friend in the world that knows, i feel helpless. it sucks so much to feel like this and not know what to do, how am i gonna get through this?
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