
Self-Injury Support Group
Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.

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I just started seeing this guy. I'm just wondering if anyone can give me advice on how to tell him about my past. I want to tell him before he discovers the scars on his own.
I guess to give me advice you should know a little about me. I don't cut anymore. I did years ago and "fell off the wagon" at the begining of the year. I still have the urges when I get depressed which kinda comes and goes.
I know he doesn't know what its like to be depressed, he told me that hes never been depressed and I guess I hinted a little that I do but didn't dare say anything. His dad tried to kill himself when he was a kid so hes been around depression I guess. That kinda makes it scarier to talk to him i guess, I've never been suicidal but cutting gets confused with that a lot as we all know.
So long story short anyone have any easy ways to bring it up? Should I just come right out and say it? Should I let him in gradually and just give him tid bits at a time? Whats worked well for you in the past.
Thanks!
I guess to give me advice you should know a little about me. I don't cut anymore. I did years ago and "fell off the wagon" at the begining of the year. I still have the urges when I get depressed which kinda comes and goes.
I know he doesn't know what its like to be depressed, he told me that hes never been depressed and I guess I hinted a little that I do but didn't dare say anything. His dad tried to kill himself when he was a kid so hes been around depression I guess. That kinda makes it scarier to talk to him i guess, I've never been suicidal but cutting gets confused with that a lot as we all know.
So long story short anyone have any easy ways to bring it up? Should I just come right out and say it? Should I let him in gradually and just give him tid bits at a time? Whats worked well for you in the past.
Thanks!
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Well, this question comes up often enough, and it really is a toughie...
After years of not cutting, I started a relationship, and mere weeks later, it started again. I hid it from my man as long as I could and started seeing medical professionals. Once I had a bit more of a plan in place for handling it, I told my man. I showed him a website about si, he's a logical guy and likes to know the why of stuff. Once he understood what it was, we could work on it together. Its important to realise that si is not failed suicide attempts or attention seeking - its an extreme venting of emotion. Once we learn more healthy ways of dealing with intense emotion, we can move on without si as a coping mechanism.
So maybe start the conversation with a line like "I have something really important I want to discuss with you" making sure there is plenty of time for you to sit down uninterrupted together. Be prepared for him to be a bit freaked, but if you haven't done it in awhile, you can reassure him that:
a) no suicide issues are involved, and
b) it is being managed well by yourself.
Be clear about what you're doing, being honest with a loved one and giving them the info they need to understand your situation.
Good luck, and hope it goes well (btw, my man and I have now been together for over 12 months!).