OMG~! i just noticed after i posted this i said i'd been hitting myself with BROADS.......i meant boards.

i'd have a joke for that...but it's 3:30 in the morning and i'm to tired to think of one~!

hitting yourself with broads might be more fun :) just kidding....in all seriousness. (is that a word?)

i started cutting when i was 10. i've done a lot of research on the psych of self injury and here is my experience along with what i have read. many of us come from places and homes where we cannot, for whatever reason, express ourselves emotionally. when i was young and my mom got into an angry episode i quickly learned that if i cried loudly she would come back into my room and things would escalate. if i was quiet she would leave me alone. i would supress the need to cry by pounding my fists on my legs so hard that i would bruise myself. i felt better.

cutting hitting burning. it all comes from the same place. the brain just knows pain. that is what it seeks.

you are in the right place. we all self injure.

stay strong and we love you

autumn

Hey there, welcome to the group, you're certainly in the right place :)

I've been a cutter for 3 years, but I also hit things sometimes as another form of harm. I wouldn't say there is much difference psychologically between the harming, like Autumnfire said; it all originates from the same place. However, I know for me that I tend to hit things when it's anger I'm trying to release, and cut for other emotions, so maybe it depends on what emotion your feeling as to what form of harming you use.

Thats just my opinion, hope it helps. Take care xx

I call that "bruising" or if it's just on my head "head banging", but I used to do it, too. I actually did that before I started cutting...then went back to bruising (only more severely) when I got tired of my cutting scars.

self-injury is self-injury.....no matter if you cut, burn or hit it's all self-injury.....i think we all do it for some of the same reasons....you're in the right place....

thank you all for your replies. they are big help and im glad im welcome here.

as for the emotions that im dealing with when i hit...i would have to say i just get overwhelmed. it's never out of anger. it's more of a release.

when i hit out of compulsion, my mind is got all these thoughts and emotions all tied up and it's like i'm just trying to shut everything down. and it just happens out of nowhere. i can feel myself building up to it, and i try to tell myself; "don't hit, don't hit"...and then it comes. it's like i have no control over it, like my hand just says "Enough!!!" and hits me all by it's self.

if its premeditated, i can feel myself getting all bundled up, and i know i want to put a stop to it. usually when im out somewhere or at work. it's like when you just start having a panic attack, all your emotions and thoughts are bundled and you can't wait to get home get a few good whoolups and crawl in bed.

god i hope i never hit im public. i couldn't even imagine how embarrassing that would be.

Hi there,

Head banging can have really serious repercussions. It can cause traumatic brain injury over time, and can lead to all sorts of cognitive problems. So please be careful with this. If you have to hit, maybe do another part of your body, if you can?

In the beginning I didn't hit but then the cutting seemed to stop hurting enough so I added hitting. I also use my head, with a migraine the pain feels good. Is that weird or what. Does pain make anybody else feel better?

Also, over the holidays cutting and hitting weren't enough and I discovered that if I put a small amount of household cleaner or chemical of some sort in a milkshake that it didn't taste too bad and led to severe stomach pain and vomiting...and even though it hurt it was like a relief. Don't know if anybody has gone that far or even as far as one method doesn't seem to work well anymore and move on to something different. I feel like such an oddity. For the first time I confided in my therapist about this and he went off the deep end saying it caused me to become under medicated and I would only get worse. But hurting myself seems like such a need, something I have to do. It has a life of it's own and drives me to do weird things and I can't stop.

big grizzly bear hugs to you Iced. i hope you and you therapist can work through that.

hello and welcome *big hug* you are in a safe place, we dont judge here everybody is accepted here weither you hit burn cut or have an eating disorder...anything one does to hurt themselves is self injury...it all stems from the same place...the need to feel pain and hurt yourself...ive been a cutter for 30yrs...feel free to post here you will find lots of support...glad you found this group!