Pain...emotional pain that just tears you apart on the inside is horrible. I wish it didn't exist because of the emotional pain I have a major desire for physical pain. Right now any physical pain thrills me, I don't care what causes it. If it is me digging my nails into my body or "accidentally" bumping into something, or pain infliced on me by another...no matter its source I am enjoying the feeling it gives me. I can't pick up a blade and cut myself--some in my life don't understand the whole idea, and I just can't get into the burning of myself (made sure I kept my ass safe when I was in the fire service) but I have these other ways...just need to use them properly so people don't get suspicious. Only downfall...the pain doesn't last as long as a cut does so that means I need to do more often.
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