Well i dont know where to start or what to say , my head is just full of so much black and bad bad things,um the person who i use to be died alongtime ago and this alien i dont recongisd,self harming has been constenly in this life since from a young age,there r also serve health and mental health problems also,i cant do it anymore life is so numbing and always bad things happens,and ppl say ah i have so much badluck but truely its true,the alien cuts and cuts and cuts and now cutting over old scars,need more skin to cut though, have tried everything to stop cutting though the years and nothing works at all,this alien isnt ment to be here i should of died when at 18 when i toke a huge OD and i wasnt ment to be found,since then tried so many times to end this so called life,im not looking for sympanthy or anything like that,i just needed to write things down that r in this head and that the alien is feeling,soon it will be the time and then there will be nothing but peace and pain free and harmony,Careing and loving is one of this aliens faults as we always get painfull hurt,wish this heart was made of stone,its like in this head there r 2 horrible things that have voices who arguy all the time its a consent battle in there its just to much to bear,Today i went to see my physchirist even though poorly and in pain and got there to be told the appt had been canceal,this is the 3rd time its happen,when i cut now i put salt in them to feel extre pain,been cutting for 20 years plus have always been safe but i just dont care no more,given up is not even the word,sorry to be writting this all down it properly doesnt make no sense but there isnt anywhere else to go,sorry again :-(
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