i need all your support. took a pregnancy test yesterday, came out negative. still no signs of a period, so i'm taking it sunday with my first morning pee. talked to adam, he pretty much talked about his band, how he's doing, his fuck buddy, blah blah blah... i got all mad and told him i'd let him know if he's gonna have a kid or not, and either way, i don't want his heroin shooting ass to have anything to do with it. i need you all right now cause i know i can't do this on my own. i got my mom and my cousin, but i still won't have my kid's dad there, which is soooo important. especially if its a boy. how am i gonna tell him/her that? "well, daddy was a drug addict and didn't really care what happened to you... i love you more than anything, but he really doesn't give a shit... thats why drugs are bad, honey..." thats a real great way to start a life. i know i'm in on this too, it takes two to tango, but shit... i could kill him for not caring. like, okay, he can hang up on me and act like its not happening cause i'm the one who will have to deal with it all and he knows it. i hate him for this. i hope he doesn't kill himself banging shit cause i'll need the child support...
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