I've been depressed for much of this year. I've had a okay last few days but today has been a battle. I fixate on cutting my wrist, not to die but to release the extreme tension I have. I dream that the flow of blood will give me relief, like air coming out of a tyre, hissing strongly at first then gently streaming out, causing the tyre to release and relax. I havent cut before. I often stare at my left redial pulse thumping, at my lowest I often feel calmer holding a knife, letting the weight indent my skin where the pulse beats.
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