so i have been a cutter for almost four years. i have had periods of time where i had no desire or even a need to do it. then there were times when i had to. i couldn't stop. i did it to feel better, and when i felt better, i kept going. i quit again. i dont want or need to cut anymore. but i am used to feeling pain physically. i am now struggling with this intense desire to feel pain other ways. like running into walls, hitting myself, or anything else that causes blunt pain. it is different than the sharp pain i used to inflict and it is a lot less apparent. i have to do it more often to feel better, but it does help. is it any better than cutting? i don't know what to think.
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