This whole depression thing started last august when my mom was told she had cancer. Me and her arnt close..at all. and i dont know how to tell her that everyday im scared cause i dont know if shell be there when i get home. I started cutting myself because it was the only thing that i thought would help, now its getting worse. When my boyfriend broke up with me i felt like noone cared about me. that noone thought i was pretty or anything like that. My friends are glad i broke up with him because he wasent good for me and i agree with them. THEN!!! *yes theres more* acouple weeks ago in class this guy called me fat. it was a dumb joke and it wasent even funny, but im the quiet one in class that always sits in the back and never speaks unless spoken too. but what that guy said tore me apart and i started making myself throw up. none of my friends know about any other this because i dont want them to stop hanging out with me. if i constantly talk about whats happening to me they might get sick of me and leave. my problems are my problems, not theirs. I just wish they knew that i cut myself almost everynight after my parents are in bed. when i cut myself i feel so selfish. im so wrapped around my problems i dont even think about anyone else. my brother has down syndrome. his problems are more important than mine. my mom has cancer. her probelms are more important than mine. i wish i could just stop feeling sorry for myself and start living my life. i guess its harder than it sounds. Im scared to stop cutting. i tired for awhile and i went crazy. its the only thing that helps me.
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