after a good while of not cutting I broke down and slipped, I have a mess of cuts on my hip, and single one on my arm most of them (including the one on my arm) are deep b/c the razorblade was new and I'm used to feeling pain when I cut, and if I don't feel pain I press a little harder until I do, which usually results in very deep wounds. and the reason I broke down last night is I have to go see my father in four days and I'm freaking out about that because he is very abusive and I really don't want to see him but I have to and the only person who I could talk to about it didn't have him phone on for three hours because he was charging it and I felt like it didn't matter..so I went ahead and cut and now I feel really bad about it.
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