I was starting to do so well with keeping my cutting under control but idk what happened. Usually i try really hard not to let things get to me but today i just lost it. I lost all control and cut myself all over my stomach and thighs (i cant cut on my arms anymore because i go to work and i dont want ppl to know). idk what i did but now im just in so much pain to the point where just moving a little bit hurts all the places ive cut. Whats sad is how im so addicted to cutting. I feel a rush or like im on a high. But when im done i just stare at myself in the mirror and see the terrible things that ive done and i just burst into tears. I sit in my room and think what the hell is wrong with me, how did i get like this. And then i think about all the horrible things ive been through that led me to this point. I hate myself for what ive done to my body, i cant even stand to look at my scars bc it just makes me upset and want to cut all over again.
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