Hi everyone. Havent posted a topic in a while. Been busy at work and extremely depressed even with the switch from BuSpar to Klonipin. I just cant get rid of the anxiety. Last night, when I couldnt cope anymore and decided to cut, I realized something that I do before I cut again. Its like during each episode, I will make some semi deep long slashes, then after a few days, when Im nervous or mad at myself I will pull the scab/skin off that trying to heal the wound Ive created. Sometimes its so close to healing and I will force it open again. Its so painful that tears will come to my eyes but I will keep ripping it back open. I know. Im disgusting. I just realized last night how much I started shaking and how frustrated I got that the last ones healed and were smooth and I didnt have anything to do with my hands. I try to explain to my psych what I do but when I start getting into detail she just stares at me and kinda nods her head a little and I feel really embarrassed and stupid and I feel like she doesnt fully understand my panicky agitation that sets in at certain times. She gave me 1 mg Klonipin pills and said they were addictive and to only take them when necessary. I can understand that I guess, I dont want an addiction but I dont feel a difference in my anxiety or crying spells. Sometimes I feel like the effexor works but I dont know. Anyway, does anyone understand what Im saying or am I just gross?
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...