For about a year and a half I have fought the urge to cut. Lately I've been in so much pain. My heart can't take it anymore. Today I cut into my arm with a pocket knife, but it didn't do thing job it didn't hurt like I wanted it to. So I took a fork and shoved it in the same spot where I had cut and ripped the skin apart. I continued until my whole arm felt the aches. So much blood and still I feel like shit,just alittle more relaxed. I know I messed up. I know that this urge, this need to cut will be stronger that ever now and won't go away. I don't want my fiance to find out but like before I know I won't be able to hide it for to long and I don't want to lie to him. But I know he's not going to understand. Now what am I going to do. I lost the battle. If I try to get help from my therapist all they are going to do is try to put in the hospital and I don't want to go there again.
Posts You May Be Interested In
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...