im dead inside,just numb. i feel like i dont exist, like i am standing at a window on the real world just looking in. i sleep 12-14 hours a day, and when i wake i try to force my self to sleep some more. i have no interest in anything, except maybe the beautiful color of my blood running down my arm. i know that will make me real.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??