I can't seem to stop destroying myself. I am cutting daily and it is getting deeper and deeper. I am holding a towel on my wrist right now trying to make the bleeding stop, but so far no luck. I went out drinking last night even though I said I wouldn't and missed brunch with my boyfriend's family this morning. I am supposed to be going to an inpatient program soon so I just had to tell my roommate (best friend) that I need her to find a new roommate because I don't know when I will be back and am not sure she is who I need to live with when I get back. Think I need a fresh start. Took pills this week-hadn't done that in so long and now I am remembering how much I liked that feeling, but also feeling guilty. Not doing my job well because I am so distracted. Pushing everyone away so they don't see what I am going through. I can't stop. Will inpatient even help? It is at least 6 months and my therapist and doctor promise me it will help, but nothing has helped before. I was told by my first therapist that nothing can be done for a girl like me....was she right? I feel so low and alone. About to go to church-hoping to find some encouragement there. Why do I do this?
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