the last time i felt an urge to hurt myself the way i want to now. it's been years since i quit cutting and these past few months, ive begun to feel so useless, worthless and helpless that all i can think about are the most morbid things. The other night i was crying so hard and had such an urge, i had to scratch myself to make it go away. I didn't break skin or anything, I just needed a sensation there....I just want so desperately to take my anti-depressants, as in the whole bottle. Maybe I'll die, maybe I'll end up in the ER and he'll realize what an idiot he's been all this time....or maybe I'd end up leaving my daughter behind with a terrible memory. She's my only reason for anything anymore. I'm just so scared that an urge this strong is resurfacing....I'm afraid its going to happen soon.......I don't know what else to do. I can feel the pressure, the pain, the hurt, all bubbling up to the surface and its all pent up there...i need to release it somehow...and soon. Or I will have a serious mental breakdown.
Posts You May Be Interested In
I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...