Right now I want to cut so bad. I haven't in about a month or 2. the last one is bad and still healing. I am dealing with feeling guilty about giving the guy who shot my fiance the gun back after my fiance took it away. I feel like it's my fault he was shot. If I hadn't given the gun back to the guy my fiance wouldn't be in pain all the time and our lives wouldn't be the way it is now. I don't understand how his family doesn't hate me for giving the guy back the gun. The guy was a friend and I never thought he would shoot anyone mainly his best friend. That is the only reason I gave the gun back. I hate myself for giving him the gun back. I am trying hard not to cut right now. But its hard. Sometimes I wonder if my fiance hates me for giving the guy back the gun. I know deep down it's not my fault for the shooting but for some reason I feel like it is.
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