Well, I saw my therapist today and now I won't be seeing her again for the next 3 weeks. She is like my major life line and I feel she is the only one I can really talk to. I have been SI again and I feel like I should go get some alcohol and take a few extra ativan. I just don't know how I can stay strong with her gone. I just can't do it on my own yet. I have major issues with abandonment but that is a whole other story and my head just keeps telling me that she is not coming back. She kept trying to reassure me that she is coming back and that she will be safe and so will I. I have been crying off and on since this afternoon. I am really scared and right now 3 weeks seems like a life time. I have to care for my kids and I have to be last on the list to do for me. I know I am rambling but I am feeling desprite. Do any of you have any ideas to try to stop the impedding doom I am feeling??
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