i was fooled into thinking life was easier. some of you know what's been going on with me. we moved to cali after dad came and found me. things seemed to be much better, but now they are much worse. he's on drugs, drunk all the time and it's just harder here then it ever was. i'm ending it all tonight. he's passed out, i'm getting razor blades and cutting till i pass out. i'm going to cut my wrists from my elbow to my wrist then across the other way just to make sure i hit a good bleeder. i'm going to do it on each arm if i can. in his bed next to him naked. the way i'm suppose to always be now. it will be my final word to him. my final no. and this time i get the last word. this time when i say no i mean no. this time he can clean the mess up. it's not even that i hate my life. at this point i'm numb. god forgive me. if i am able to follow through a friend of mine from back home has been sent an email with my password to come online and let anyone that might care know. i love you guys. i know you tried to help, and im sorry.
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