i walked in the door when i got home from school. my grandma is in the kitchen. i walk in there and she says "i cleaned your room today" i run to my room and look. everythings in order and organized. everything is off the floor and the shelves are even tidy. i flip. my bag isnt there. the bag that i kept all my rags, bandages, neosporin, and razorblades. its not here anywhere. i asked her angrily what happened to it. she said she put the rags in the bathroom, the bandages and neosporin in the kitchen cabinet, and threw the razorblades out. i asked her why she threw them out and she comes back with "well, if i thought that you were still hurting yourself i would have left it there, but there havent been any bandages in the trash lately so i figured you havent done it for a while. so theres no use in keeping them around really. just clutters the place up" I WENT THE FUCK OFF!!!! She knew the whole fucking time that i was still cutting and she didnt fucking say a word about it or care???? she would have let me keep doing it is she thought that i still was now??? WHAT THE FUCK MAN!!?!?!?!?! Fuck her! fuck this place! why does no one here give a fuck that id rather be DEAD than here!!!! how does that not hurt her to know that?! how can it not fucking matter to her that i need serious fucking help but that they sit back and let it go?! im tired of it! ill do anything to spite HER! ill show EVERYONE the scars! ill vandalize the fucking town! ill MURDER my enemies! i wonder if she'll give a fuck then! i fucking doubt it! i hope they have a body bag ready for me, cuz soon all that will be left of me is a fucking lifeless body!!!!!
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