So, today i read a private blog one of my friends wrote about me. Yeah it was private, but i still read it. It was one of the most hurtful things i have ever read in my life. It was several paragraphs of basically saying what a crappy friend i am and that when i'm with other people i'm a jerk. When i was reading all of this it didn't sound like me at all. I tried to recall some of the times where i acted like a bitch to her but i don't remember. She doesn't know the real me--nobody knows the real me. It's like my cutting has made me into a whole different person. But her saying that she thinks shes not losing anything out of not being friends doesn't hurt me but kinda makes me feel less of what i am. And i know i shouldn't feel that way because someone thinks that way about me. I have no one to talk to and all of this is stressing me out. I got back into the habit of self injuring and all of this drama isn't helping.
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