Ive been hurting myself just now and i know that later i will be in trouble for it. But I needed to relieve my pain and in a weird kind of way i feel better for having cut myself. Atleast now i just feel numb as before i just couldnt stop crying cos ive been talking about things i should have just kept a secret. Its such a risk for me to be opening up here and letting others see my pain. Im just not coping. I feel like killing myself so instead i just cut to take away the feelings and now i have to cut more cos im so ashamed and i feel bad cos i am bad.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??