You know I always thought that SI was a burden I had to bare on my own but today my outlook changed. My mother stopped by and without thinking I opened the door and she came in. I only had on a pair of short pants and she saw my injuries. Well needless to say she freaked out but later after she got past the shock she came back. I know how pathetic is that, a 42 year old man answering to mommy lol. Anyway when she came back I was mad and very quiet to begin with but I thought about what I have been reading so I decided to open up and talk. I explained to her why I was doing the things I was doing. I told her its my way of coping with the depression, anxiety and pressure I've been feeling lately. I explained that it helps to calm me and that I was ready to just end my life the other night all the way through today and that this was my way out of doing something I couldnt come back from. Well she was surprisingly understand and then I showed her the webpages I've been going to trying to understand what it is that is causing me to do this and I educated her more on SI. By this point she was completely understanding and opening up that line of communication seems to have helped some. I haven't felt the need to harm myself yet. I'm hoping I can remain that way but I made no promises. I just wanted to share this with all of you that have the same worries about talking to the people we love about this. Hopefully it will help you as well.
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