I dont know why I am even bothering. But today I am manic and at the same time every thought I have is how I can just give up. I can't keep fighting these battles all the time and it feels like my head is going to explode. I am wonderin how the hell other people cope with this shit. I am on no meds since it is a luxury I cant afford. I cant go into a hospital cause I have no one who can look after my kids. So what am I left to do? Nothing is cutting deep enough and no amount of cutting is doin what I want it to.
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