okay, so i haven't cut in 63 days. that's the longest i've gone recently. so, yay for me. the problem is, i've been thinking about doing it for the last few days, and i have no reason why. i know i've been feeling numb lately, but not bad...not good either. i don't feel upset really. also, i've been watching graphic, sick stuff on the internet, reading about suicide, etc. i know this stuff mentally disturbs me, so why do i subject myself to it? and should i be worried about the fact that i'm reseaching suicide methods even tho i have no plan or intention of carrying it out? this is probably a really dumb question, sorry :(
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