I had to give my therapist all of my cutting weapons. I can't do this. I need to find another way to get rid of this internal pain. Healthy coping skills are not working. I have been trying them for days now. I cannot sleep at night or even think too clearly throughout the day because I am having such flashbacks that it feels like it is happening all over again. For almost three weeks I was able to finally sleep without the light on and since I gave up my cutting weapons 4 days ago I need the light on again. I feel, smell, taste and see him all over again, so much so I wake up with such pain between my legs that I am in agony. During the day it's almost like every man is him....(I know that sounds insane). I have been SO distressed since last week and I am afraid if I don't find another "outlet" for this pain I am going to just give up and say "goodbye" to this world. I had started burning at the age of 6 after my first suicide attempt. I am thinking of starting to burn again. Just for awhile. (I know just for awhile does not work)I don't even remember when/why I stopped burning and moved to cutting. But, I just NEED to find a way out of this emotional pain. Can someone give me some encouraging words that this will eventually go away and I don't need to turn to another form of self-harm. Thanks....
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