It seems that my entire life I have been running. I run from pain and yet I desire pain in order to feel. I hide from myself and disguise my intentions. I think that death would be the ultimate feeling of peace. I do not dread the suddeness of death. I welcome it with open arms. I feel that my time on earth has been tainted by the ill will others feel and express. My pain is as deep as it is wide, and it seems to cover every person or desire I touch. I have a toxic desire to feel nothing. I have a toxic desire to die. I am sure there is no other way.
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