Weird title and subject line I know but after reading what my recent experience was maybe it will sound better. Several days ago I was feeling really REALLY depressed because of having to move and feeling very unworthy about being loved and cared about. I was VERY distraught but I DIDN'T cut then. A day later I did but the thing was I was as emotional or very distraught even though I was still depressed. Then I was disappointed because the cuts weren't deep or wide enough. I know that my cutting is based through emotional distress.....example----the more distressed and emotional I get the wider and deeper the cuts are therefore the quicker way the feelings evaporate where I could handle them better. That emotional release didn't happen this time and I am disappointed. I was feeling VERY distraught last night and ALMOST cut but then I didn't. Even though I have cut for years I still don't know why this is. When I cut I make sure the cuts will scar despite the fact I hate them afterwards. Like no one wants me because of them but it still doesn't give me enough incentive to stop all together. Has this ever happened to anyone else? I would love to see the responses.
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