I am just wondering if I am a freak because I intentionally cause pain upon myself to make me feel better. My younger sister told her boyfriend who comes over every weekend, everything about me. He walks right past me as if I am some kind of freak. Everytime he comes over I feel like a freak. He never makes eye contact. To top it off I am so overwhelmed tonight because of a story I heard about someone killing a dog. It happened over a week ago and I still feel SO SO sad over it. Cutting is the only way I know to feel better, but I don\'t want to tell my therapist or call her before I do so. Would just a couple small cuts, be like lying to her if I didn\'t tell her? I know because of everything that happened to me I deserve this pain, and I want to stop but feel I can\'t. I\'m not really ready to quit yet. If my sister\'s boyfriend already sees me as a freak, does it really matter if I cut? Thanks....
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