So it'll be a week tomorrow since i last cut. I tried to kill myself last thursday and decided that I wanted to live after attempting. In order to get past it I had to tell my parents about it and the fact that I've been cutting. I also had to start seeing a psychiatrist. I also told my best friend since I felt like I needed to explain what had been happening and it just seemed like the right time. I've wanted to cut and I've wanted to kill myself since then but it's sort of like having people know just puts up a wall. Like before it'd be really bad and the last straw would be that nobody knew what was happening to me and nobody could help. It's not like they understand now but they are trying to help and they do care about me. I don't feel like myself yet- I'm very far from that but I think I could know again if I try hard enough. It's not like I'm all happy and excited about therapy because I'm not but I just don't feel like I should purposefully make myself go into that state where cutting seems normal.
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