Self-Injury Support Group

Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.

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Mental Health
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I need help!

ashley1028
ashley1028
So I'm an EMT and over the last few days we've had some pretty stressfull situations at work, plus my homelifes gotten extremely stressfull. Due to stress I started cutting again. I used to do it a year ago after i was raped but i slowly was able to get myself to stop. Well now i've started again and the last couple days i've been doing it a lot.

Well then the other day I had a girl that attempted to suicide and another that cut. I already felt awfull because I had to take them to the psych hospital and all I wanted to do was tell them that I understood what they were both going through and that i've been/am there. So as if that wasn't bad enough I had to sit the last 5 hours of my shift with my partner (the guy I work with, not a boyfriend or husband) going on and on about how he doesn't understand why people cut or want to commit suicide. After a while i just wanted to tell him to shut up that he couldn't possibly understand. But at the same time I'm afraid of people around me finding out that i cut and that i at times am suicidal.

I guess what i'm trying to ask is what I should do about him. It really bothers me when he constantly talks about it and has no idea what its like and he constantly judges out patients and it feel like he's judging me because i'm just like them. But then i really dont know if i want anyone to know. Then again I guess one of these days he is going to catch on that my constant injuries from my step dad and the cuts on me aren't just "accidents". I feel stupid posting this but I just dont know what to do anymore.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I had a similar (kind of) experience in a class this semester. We were talking about people with eating disorders and the text we had read made people who exhibited self-injurous behaviors seem like a bunch of mindless attention-seeking ninnies. I sat in my seat and got very agitated because I felt like everyone was talking about me. Finally, I had to speak up. I didn't want to announce to my class, "Hey, everyone, let's try to be less judgemental. I mean, I cut, and you guys don't think I'm an attention seeking ninny." So instead, I made a very general statement about how it's really not anything that we can understand unless we've been there. It seems terribly ignorant and illogical to assume that someone would self-harm just because they want attention. There are other ways to get attention, let's be honest.

I guess the only thing I can suggest is to not neccessarily reveal anything about yourself, but try to have a civil discussion about what may cause your patients to feel the way they do. Maybe your partner can begin to understand if you create a neutral dialogue on the subject. Often times it helps people to think about things from a completely different point of view.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I really dont know that he could ever understand. It is sad that we do. I think it would be more appropriate to assume that he does not know how to empathize. I believe when we cannot empathize with others then it is hard to care about anyone. I would not wish him to feel the way I do, but I would want him to care. I would want him to look upon us with compassion, knowing that one day, he may understand.
deleted_user
deleted_user
oh wow, that sounds horrible, sorry you've had such a stressful few days *hugs* is there any way you can find them?
ashley1028
ashley1028
Thanks for all your responses I appreciate the help, and in response to jondy09 no unfortunatly because of hippa and because they were both minors the only chance of me seeing them again is if I transport them again... hopefully I dont have to though.
deleted_user
deleted_user
that happened to me all the time in high school with people who tried to commit suicide and eating disorders. maybe you could try to say positive things about the patients. like 'you don't know what they are going through. . .you obviously have never dealt with the type of pain they are" and so on.

if nothing else, tell him he's an idiot for being so judgemental. hang in there. we're here for you and understand what you are going through. :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
this is a tough one for me because I am always honest when it comes to my self harming etc.. if he is a good enough friend he will understand or at least try to for your sake
deleted_user
deleted_user
i totally understand. i'm an EMT as well and last year we had to well, arrest somebody and i couldn't handle it and we had to take her to this awful psych hospital and i tried to say it wasn't bad and she just yelled back at me, AND when i was in EMS school, the girl who drove me was in fucking MED SCHOOL and said that psych disorders aren't real and that we should stop whining. and then i have fellow corps members who say i tell too much about my past and diagnosis and then when i take a medical leave from EMS they hunt me down and demand to know why i'm on a leave. have you heard of the phoenix thing, where you call and they will talk to you over the phone or meet you in public somewhere and you can destress about the calls that hit you in the wrong way? if you don't have the number, i'll look for it for ya.
tattyhead184
tattyhead184
Would it be an idea to point this website out to him? If he joined with a view to listening to others, he could learn quite a lot. Who knows, he may even find support groups that could be of help to him. (Personally, I joined with a view to getting information for my Mum's dementia but I've ended up joining a few myself.) The next time he gets on your nerves it might be worth considering.
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