For some years now I've been feeling that I don't really have a good reason to live, but I don't quite understand it - Rationally speaking - because I have a nice family, few but good friends and in general my life is good.... When I was 11 my life turned around, for worse, and I went into a massive depression, which I managed to hid from everybody... And I think this has been a big problem because I got so good at hiding it that the psychologist said I was fine... Which is clearly mistaken, a year before I had slashed my wrists with a piece of wood but it didnt bleed enough for medical attention so I hid it... I don't know if my past depression is related to this, or if it was never really over I thought it was for 1 or 2 years and it was just hidden somewhere in me... For the last year I've been having extreme suicidal thoughts and I don't want to go to my parents for this because I don't want to become a burden and a source of pain to them.. I love them and I dont think its fair... But I just.. .Feel so much despair that I cannot begin to describe. Today I felt the massive urge to just slit my wrists but I was full of people everywhere so I just couldn't do it.. I grabbed abother metal object, not sharp enough to cut but enough to cause damage and pull skin away.. And the scary thing is, I just can't stop feeling this need to cut myself... I cannot go to my close circle of people... I just cant.... Help? Anyone? Please..
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