Urgh, I need to vent my anger with myself. I have had it. I have resisted from cutting for a good week now and low and behold, today it just got the better of me. I'm bleeding alot from the wound and I have burnt myself too. I can't keep doing this, but the feeling i get from it.....it feels good for a short while, a calmness, a magic and then..... I feel so disgusted and angry and I hate myself and thats making me want to do it all the more.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??