I really need someone to talk to. I never thought I would cut myself but I did. I don't want to exactly. I have self injured before but not too bad or anything lasting just scratching, pinching, and last year i got a belt and hit my thigh with it real hard sometimes. But it has gotten to be too much. i feel like I have no one to talk to because my mom took away my cell phone and is very strict about the home phone. I CAN'T do this alone. That's why i joined here. My friend said to call anytime but i just can't. I will try and I also have a hotline # but it is gonna be pretty hard. I feel like there is something wrong with me and if i tell my bf he won't want to be with me. He works at a teen youth help center with teens struggling with addictions but i still think he would think something was wrong with me and not want to date me anymore. He might help me but I don't think he would want to date me he would think something mental might be wrong with me. there isn't anything mentally wrong I just can't handle everything now. Anyone think i should tell him or have any advice for being able to call my friend. Right now i am just staying on the computer until my urge goes away. I almost opened a razor and cut my leg but i am trying so hard not to. i am afriad i might get addicted. I was writing in my private online journal but couldn't stop crying and it didn't help much. The thing is my mom never understands. That is the most frustrating. And i am probably moving this summer and leaving my bf and all my amazing friends! My church and everything. I have moved before but now I am in high school and everything is so much harder! I just transfered schools to go to a private, christian school and it will be so exhausting to have to start over AGAIN. its hard enough now! Anyone have any advice? Mainly about how to talk to someone and if i should tell my bf because he works with other teens struggling with addcitions. I know he is like tained and knows how to help poeple and deal with this stuff but I am so afraid he will think something is wrong with me. Only want to be my friend even though he says he loves me. I don't even have much time left with him either. This just so isn't me. Please help!



And anyway to get some help maybe without my parents knowing? There is NO way I would EVER tell them.