That is how I feel. I have no fight left and no desire to fight anymore. Nothing works for me. My marriage is failing, my self hate is so out of control I wish I could jump out of my body. All I truely want is to die and be a peace. Until I can do that, I will do my duties at home best I can. This is too much, I am not strong enough to take this. If this could just get a little better. I Lay this at God's feet and tell him it is too much. I am not me anymore I am not anything or anyone human. I can't live for others anymore, this is not life. this is kicking my ass. I have lost my faith, my fight and my "give a shit". I wish I was a stronger person. I wish I was still worthy of good things. Thanks for letting me vent. I know you are all in your own pain as well.