Last week, I called my doctor to make an appt. to get my meds and the receptionist told me that he had died and that I would need to make an appt. with the new doctor, but I had called on the weekend so she told me to call back during the week. Well, I put it off as I do with a lot of things, not because I don't care though, just because I got to feeling somewhat better and thought maybe I had just went through a transition, but then the headaches came back and they came back worse.

Well, I called the receptionist again today, and I wonder if it was a different one, and she looked me up on the computer and said my file wasn't there. The last time I was with this doctor was three years ago. Hard to believe my file would disappear that quickly. I guess the doctor figured I was gone and deleted my file. Scenile or rude? I don't know. Then she asked me if I went by a different last name so I gave her my mother's and still nothing. Then she asked me for my birthdate and still nothing. So then I told her that I had a pill bottle from the doctor from three years ago that had his name on it and that didn't matter to her. Then when I told her I got a referral from him to a psychiatrist then she said, "The doctor isn't taking new patients right now." In other words, we don't want your kind here. This made me furious. I was so offended I just wanted to yell in her ear, but I held back because maybe it wasn't because of that and I was overreacting.

I want to call back and get in her face and give her a piece of my mind and find out if that's the reason she said that to me and also to question her as to why last week I was welcome and this week I'm not. Do you think I should let it go or should I call back and let her have it? I feel as if I need to call back to confirm whether or not I was stomped on or just turned away. It could be part of my mood swings cuz I have schizophrenia and I've been off my meds for almost three weeks. So I don't know. Picture Spiderman in the black suit. My personality is in that vicinity. I look in the mirror sometimes and see someone else looking back at me and he's got this hidden smile just beneath the surface of a perfectly straight face.