I have been mostly very lucky. A dear friend has suffered from RA for 15 years so she's been a great support for me & a wealth of info. My family really learned all they could so they understood. I am self employed but worked a part time job for some extra $ when I could no longer do things like vacuum the showroom or lift heavy things my co workers got very hostile making comments like I looked fine if they could do it I should too. One co worker was so angry at me one day for not being able to crawl under a display table & get a product that she screamed at the top of her lungs "O JUST TAKE A PILL & GET OVER IT" If only it was that easy. Since I am in miy mid 30's people don't expect me to have such severe RA but like we all know it affects all ages. Needless to say I know longer work at that job & reported them for harrassment in the workplace they got a warning for EEOC. Hopefully they have more compassion in the future. My own clients(I am an interior designer) have been very understanding. I now have the complication of Wegeners which is a very rare auto immune disease & people are now starting to see me as a sick person since I have been on chemo for wegerners & have had all the lovely side effects. Thank God for a great wig!
Deb

most of my family doesn't understand but surprisingly my grandmother told me her mother had this too she didn't realise that i had ra no one told her now she and my aunt who have fibro get it. they are the only ones who get it out of my 30+ family members.

My sister also battles the RA monster and was diagnosed 10 years before me so family have been exposed to what this dz can do. She and I are great support for one another. My DH is amazingly empathetic and helpful. I think many of my coworkers don't understand what I am going through. Arthritis means just getting aches and pains in old age to many people. And I have heard the dreaded but you don't look sick on a few occasions. My best friend is a nurse so she has been very supportive.

I feel like some of my close friends have a tough time understanding what I'm going through. When I talk to them and say I'm having a bad day, they just kind of disregard it at times or will ask me questions like "So are you still going to come out tonight?" They don't really get how I'm feeling and sometimes it bothers me. On the other hand, my husband has been great and does a lot to help me out. My mom, my sister, and my boss have also been extremelly helpful and understanding. I think I'm pretty lucky to have the support that I do.

I've been pretty lucky. While I think it's impossible for anyone to truly understand, there's been a few people that seem to get it more than others. My husband who saw me through the toughest time, gets that it's seriously debilitating..........but a couple of times I could tell during a flare he wanted more credit or support for himself I guess, which I do understand. My boss and a couple of co-workers have really been helpful and understanding. They also know my personality and have helped uplift me by telling jokes during bad flares. But there are always those that don't seem to get it at all. My brother for instance invited me out yesterday. I could have, and I was feeling decent enough, but Sundays I generally like to just rest a lot. I take MTX Sat night so on Sundays I feel pretty exhausted. When I told him I wanted to just rest, his response was, "Well I was out last night till 4 and got up at 9 a.m." I realized at that moment he didn't get it and probably never would.

My family doesn't get it, except maybe for my sister who lives in another state. She bothered to look it up on the Internet and learn, probably to see if she might also get it. My mother is very old and frail and thinks I have the same "osteo" that she has. My boyfriend is extremely physical and healthy, he doesn't get it completely - always tries to roust me up and out of the house to do something. I have a couple of bosses at work who have family members affected and they get it but now they treat me differently, like I'm "sick".

First I want to say that my hubby is great,he knows stress is a trigger and is always chiding me "don't stress, it will cause a flare"
My best friend is extremely supportive, always asking what she can do to help,she has health issues of her own and we both are very concerned about one another. My kids are teriffic,although grown and out of the house, they always check in on me when my husband is traveling and offer to come over and help if I need it. My MIL on the otherhand thinks I have plain old arthritis and doesn't get it but she never will and is a very selfish individual. The people that really piss me off are the strangers that look at me funny when I exit my car that I park in a handicap spot. They act like I don't belong there and that angers me. Once a woman yelled at me at the grocery store and when I came out she had written in lipstick on my windshield, "shame on you". In general, I cut people slack because I think they are wrapped up in their own problems and don't give a thought to anyone elses.

Through the years I have had various illnesses, all of them have been ones that were not known by previous family members so they were all major surprises. Fibromyalgia was the toughest because it was such a relatively new disease that many people including doctors didn't believe in it, let alone understand it. Now that I have been diagnosed with RA, people don't question the reality of the disease, but they don't quite understand it either. My youngest daughter has taken on the task of being my protector which has been quite surprising. My older daughter sees me with RA and my sister with gout and worries about the possibilities of inheriting one or both for herself or her children. I try not to complain, but I feel like that is all I do. Now that I have you to complain to, you who understands where I'm coming from, I find that I don't say so much to my family anymore. I am always pleasantly surprised when someone asks how I'm doing and really wants to know...its such a novelty!

Am pretty much on my own with the junk. My hubby has finally "gotten" it, only after reading what the doctor wrote fo my FLMA when I was still working, and going to the doctor with me a few times. My daughter is pretty good also, but I just try and keep my ouches to myself. I have learned to say no, I don't feel good, and that pretty much lets them know I am not having a great day. I do feel better talking to all of you about things, others just don't understand.

My mom totally understands but my husband doesn't seem to. He helps with things when he can visibly see i can't do something, but even though the doctors explained this to him, he seems to think it's so easy for me to just lift and hurl laundry into the machine, load after load! lol

It's hard having an invisible disease in that sense...but i guess it's better than seeing it, which would suck, lol

i have a few family members that don't understand, but i don't think they want to. and yes, a lot of people probably see me as a big complainer when i look somewhat ok to them.

on the good note, i have wonderful supporters who continue to reach out to me; my mom, my little brother, my husband, and 1-2 of my friends. :)

Well I have never really been much of a complainer..my family is very understanding, they know when i am not feeling good before i do usually lol..as for my friends i have lost most of them but thats is partly my fault because even tho they would ask me to do things i always said no eventually they quit asking but i didnt feel like doing stuff or slowing them down if i had to sit and rest etc...it was easier to just say no thanks...even on my worst day i always know there is someone worse off then me so that tends to make me feel bad if i complain so i just try not to lol