First of all, that is downright weird that they said NOTHING. Jeesh.

My workmates were just the opposite...very supportive and tolerant of my sickdays at the beginning of my illness. A few thoughtless remarks, like "Lordy, girl, you sure are sick a lot." Well, duh. Thanks for the reminder! And a few "you don't look sick to me" remarks, as well.

A few of my coworkers tried to get me to "buck up"...just push through. Well, as it turns out, I have not had 2 days in a row since then where I felt ok enough to possibly be at work. There still hasn't been anywhere to push through TO. My doc gave me a note excusing me from work until improvement; that was 8 months ago.

I guess what I am saying, (or not saying!!) is that everyone has their opinions. Trouble is, some opinions are from people who are barely giving your situation a second thought; instead, they have a snap judgment (or "cure"). The other trouble is that even the opinions of people close to us can't really KNOW what we feel and know.

My other guess is that what is really going on with you is that you are wondering, based on YOUR experience with this disease, whether you should keep working. If so, I think you are starting the journey to learning to trust yourself and make that decision for YOU. But it's hard because we have all these other people to listen to.

Listen to your body :)

I do not tell my co-workers. I have one or two co-workers who I have told who are my close friends. I have to miss a day a month for IV Orencia and for other MD appts sometimes another 1/2 to 2 days some months. I have a FML in place so that I am not penalized when I do call out. Mt supervisor only know that I have a chronic illness and that's all that I feel that she should know.
You can't push through it.. when the going starts to get rough you need to stop and rest or it will take you that much longer to recouperate.

Flutterby - I'm my own boss and have my own office but if I don't work, I don't get paid so I do try to push through when I can. Re-read those last three words because they are important. One thing you'll find with RA is that the fatigue will hit and you are going to be better off giving in to it. I'm compromising - sleeping in on weekends and the occasional mid-week.

My staff knows about my RA - I gave them a printout from DS that talked about what having RA is like. I don't make an issue of it with people I'm not close to but it's kind of an open secret in the court system - attorneys and judges and their staff are real gossips. I've never had a problem with getting a break so I can move my joints or permission from the court on those days that getting up is too hard. In one of my last days of a trial, I was in a lot of pain and the judge agreed to end the session early. The other attorney knew what was going on and had no objection.

I can still do my job (7 years after being diagnosed), but I am hoping my next meds will be the magic bullet - we'll see.

Lynne

Wow, I didn't get that response either. I'm sorry you did - and they're in the medical field? Good grief!

I told 2 people I work with. My boss and a good friend. I didnt tell anyone else, unless they asked. One or 2 did and seemed to be understanding (of course at that point my hands and knees were swollen like balloons!) My boss was awesome. Not only did she let me work from home when I was at my worst, but she discreetly talked to our director and my director had me moved to location closer to home. They both earned my gratitude and respect then!

Like Christine26, I only ever told one person at work, and she was great about it. Her Mother had it very bad and could relate. I'm sorry you had to get that from people who KNOW about the disease. Heartless if you ask me.

I got that kind of reaction from a couple of friends. But, they don't really understand it either. So they were thinking I "had a little arthritis", you know, what's the big deal?

I learned the hard way when to stop. You will find your balance too. When it's time to rest, think of it as a vacation. Like Lynne said "don't fight it". Go with it, realax, pamper yourself, REST. It really is hard to go from an active life to a life with RA. But it can be done.

I work in a small office and because my severe onset caused me to go out on temporary disability 2 weeks after it started everyone knows here. At first they were very supportive. I got a very warm welcome back. I was not really quite ready but I pushed myself and I have continued to push myself and have done OK. I have not missed a day due to RA yet. I have days where I fall asleep in my chair as soon as I get home though.
That said- since my co workers didn't hear me complain or need time off- when I had my first flare which lasted 9 weeks I found them to be very unsupportive and disbelieving. I wasn't even asking for any time off or special acommondations or sympathy. However their attitudes really stunk. I almost felt like they were mad at me as one person at all costs would not acknowledge that my hands and wrists were wrapped for over a month. Other people were keeping a watch on whether or not they were to tell me I was better when they weren't. Of course we all know that RA symptoms can change hr. to hr. let a lone one day to the next.
I think your co workers are selfish and feel like they don't want to have to cover for you. They are mad that you have RA as if it is your fault. Don't let them discriminate against you and in the same breath I have to say you really have to go to work if you can.....

My office friends have gradually found out one by one as conversations and questions arose. I'm a school administrator and my staff does not know. There are a few who have dealt with other chronic illnesses who have picked up that something is going on and I share minimally with them.

People who do not suffer from chronic illness do not know what to do or say. They feel awkward and hesitant and you may find them avoiding you because they don't know what to do. In general, people think all arthritis is the same and so you have a few creaky joints...okay. Understanding that this is a systemic disease is more than people want to know.

Trust yourself and know your body. If you need to rest...do it. I work all week long, but spend most of my weekend recuperating from the week. Thankfully, I have an understanding spouse who doesn't mind being a "homebody".

I wish you all the best. This is a good place to come and vent or just talk about how you are feeling on any given day. We do ALL understand and empathize greatly.

Thank you all for your words of wisdom. I think mostly I am very frustrated with the whole "well you look okay" thing. Yeah well just because I look okay doesn't mean I feel okay. Sometimes I think they don't even really believe me that I was diagnosed with RA, despite the fact that due to our enterprise health system, they could access my records and see for themselves. That's the bummer of working in a medical office.

Part of the equation is that I ask for nothing special - never have. HOWEVER three out of five of us have "special" schedules so when someone is gone is does put a strain on the rest as far as answering phones and dealing with patients, but that's it. My job duties are still all there when I get back to work. For instance, because I was out for 2 days last week, it will probably take me 3 to catch up and that's working through lunch instead of taking it. Our department is already stretched way to thin and none of us can get our own jobs done, let alone try to pick up slack for anyone else.

I don't feel guilty about it. It's not my place to feel guilty, it's not my fault I got RA. I know that my boss is okay with it when I need to take days off, but it's not my boss I am worried about. I have to work with these women in CLOSE quarters every day. They can be very spiteful and rude if they want to be, or they can be hugely supportive. Right now, it's the rude part I am seeing.

It comes naturally to be a positive person, a happy person so of course that's how they perceive me. I very rarely let anyone other than my family see what this disease truly does to me. I thought that was a good thing, to show how strong I am at work. I worked with this disease not even knowing this was my diagnosis for 15 months.

I think I am just going to have a one on one talk with each of them. I don't want to spend the rest of my working days at odds with them, so this may be my only choice. They are all such strong personalities and have very opinionated beliefs about what is right and wrong that I may not be able to have them see the light.

I think I will print off some info on it to give to them. Because we are in the medical field (orthopedics specifically) I know they KNOW what the disease is, but now that I think about it, they may be ignorant to what RA does to a person's daily life.

Again, thank you all for you support. I am ever so grateful to have found this board :)

I know how you are feeling. I was recently diagnosed about 3 weeks ago. I was so bad I had to take some time off work. I am on sulfasalazine, prednisone...waiting for f/u with md to maybe start Enbrel. When I try to explain R.A. to people, most say how they heard how arthritis is painful...it is nothing like arthritis!! I am a nurse, but stil have difficulty explaining R.A. to people. It is frustrating....I am trying to be hopeful and optimistic...atleast the treatment these days are better since the 90's....