personally, i think you did the right thing!!! you and i were having the same day but i couldn't cancel my day because last year - with the trial and the accident - financially wiped me out. i wanted to curl up with my dogs or go for a ride with joe. i cried multiple times today about anything and everything. i think you did the best thing possible. big hugs!!!!!!!!! good job taking care of yourself!

Sorry both of you had such crummy days. I hope the next few days are much much better!

Sometimes a "mental health day" is the best thing we can do for ourselves...and sometimes we have no choice but to plug along. Either way, I think it's important to cut ourselves some slack.

I've been told everyone should plan 'mental health days' . It cuts down the amount of days we just crash and can't fullfill our responsibilities. Some days you can't plan for though, they just sort of knock you on your ass. I say stay in, (or go out if thats what calms you). As long as you don't let them take over.
Poodle, sometimes those responsibilites are unavoidable. You could look at it as the measure of strength you have to rebound from the financial downturn. Hopefully both of you have better days today and Poodle I hope you had an opportunity to take a break at the end of the day yesterday.

I, too, think you did the right thing. You made a wise decision. A hard one bc it seems like it's btwn what's "good" and what is "best" and those are hard ones to make. Yet you recognized within yourself your need to take care of you, and that is the best decision...the one that will take you where you want to go.

I take those days myself, and kind os pray they fall on Saturdays where no schecule is really messed up! But it doesn't always work that way. What do I do on those days? SOmetimes I get out a set of old movies that I can depend on to take me back to a happy place in my life...they remind me of my friends from jr high. Sometimes I stayed covered in my bed under that comfort and listen to music. Every now and then I will force myself to get out bc I can just her my Pdoc's words...but that it rare. Most of the time, I have to take the medicine prescribed earlier than normal and sleep bc intenisty is so great that I don't know what to do. Other times I write or read...or stare aimlessly at the tv guide channel on mute! Go figure. Oh yeah, I cry...alot.

I'm sorry your day was so difficult. But I do think it's something to be proud of in recognzing your need and taking action. We all need those days, yet few choose to admit it or use them. No need to be hard on yourself...Be proud of your decision and chalk it up to just one of those days you needed.

I do hope today is much better for you...Hugs...

Thanks everyone....

Poodle and I were chit chatting about this and other things...so that's why I'm not responding directly to her. hehe

Steht...I hope today is better too. I slept in. Like really slept in. I vaguely remember my dog incessantly licking my face. I should've woken up and listened but I was having too much of a good sleep. lol. So I woke up to a nice morning pee and poop on my carpet. My fault because I should've woken up. But I think the sleep was good for me. It's the longest I'd slept in a couple weeks. I have a semi-long day today so fingers crossed it's a good one!

Finalytime....You know I was talking to a couple friends last night and realized that I haven't had a day off...a mental health day....a day to relax....in 40 days. That's the last time I had a day where I wasn't obligated to anything. So when I was talking to one of my girlfriends last night I told them I think it's about time to start scheduling days off for myself again. Maybe that's why I had the day I did yesterday. Maybe I just overloaded. Well yesterday they definitely took over. It knocked me on my ass though it took me most of the day to figure out WHAT the heck I was feeling. The session I canceled because I just couldn't find the right motivation to get off my ass. And couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Then in between that and the business partner meeting last night I figured it out. The business partner meeting is very confined, close quarters with a lot of people, very loud and lots of handshakes, hugs, and accidentally brushing against people. You have to be happy and upbeat and fired up. I didn't go to that because I knew I would end up having a panic attack. So I guess I half let it take over and then half did what I needed to be safe.

Writer34....Yes those ARE the hardest ones...the good and best decisions. Oh...I ate a lot of cool mint oreo's today too. Oreo's make everything better :) Thanks for responding. I think you're right that I need to not be so hard on myself and just let myself have those days. It's frustrating though. I feel like I'm giving another day to my rapists by allowing myself to have these days. I don't know.

Nah, I don't see it as you giving them another day. The person who suggested the 'mental health day' was a man (no traumas to speak of) that no matter what gives himself one day a WEEK where he answers no one, does his own thing, etc. He is called upon for alot of giving day to day and if you're in a profession that requires you to give like that, it's no wonder after 40 days your mind said "HAY LO...I'm done today". Bet you would have felt worse today if you went to that meeting yesterday and felt like shit the whole time and maybe came across as someone different than what you are. I would say if this becomes a persistent day to day thing you're talking about something entirely different, but one day..eh that's fine.

I think that's what I need to do is schedule in a one day a week mental health day. That day should be consistent. AND NO DOING ERRANDS EITHER! I think it will be a day where I go get my eyebrows done, or take myself out to lunch, or hang out at my house all day and listen to music. Lay by the pool, play with my dog. Things that I truly enjoy. Yep...Friday is going to become my mental health day.

Yes, my professions definitely require me to give a lot day to day. I work about 75-90 hours a week, 7 days a week, and I deal with people on a day to day basis who desperately need my help and devoted attention. Very stressful, set backs are EXTREMELY frustrating, and the work is tiring, though satisfying at the same time. Now, I absolutely love LOVE what I do....but maybe I have confused loving what I do with still needing a break even though I love it.

I think I would have felt worse if I went to the business partner meeting too. Usually I feel much better. Usually it ends my day on a high note. But the thought of going somewhere where it's crowded, loud, lots of touching, lots of people I don't know extremely well yet....that was a recipe for DISASTER. And yes, I have done a damn good job at allowing my business partners to see me as I really am. Though three of them understand that I have PTSD and what my past is...that's only three of 50+ people there. And the bathroom is locked by key so I can't just retreat there either! It would not be a good situation for me to have a panic attack. Not to mention I have to wear makeup...and mascara + tears = tragedy. Hahaha.

Though I still have my entire container of oreo's beside me, I am doing better today. Thank you guys for your encouragements and votes of confidence that it's ok to have days like this.

Definitely it's okay -- and necessary -- to take time for yourself. And good lord, Anthem, 75-90 hours a week with no days off?? That's not healthy. You may need to do more for yourself than take off one day a week. Even the Energizer Bunny runs out of energy eventually. If you don't mind sharing, what sort of work do you do that requires such a demanding schedule?

Glad you are feeling better today.

she IS the energizer bunny. no wait...she's the energizer bunny on steroids all contained in the tiniest, cutest package!!!

Hehehe thanks Poodle.

Here's a list of what I do...

I work with a family who has an 11 year old daughter with aUtism. I'm the sole caregiver for the family and work with her 4-5 days a week.

I work with People Helping People; a company that helps middle income families and small business' with financial services for free.

I am a small business owner training dogs. I have almost 40 clients and do not have any employees. I meet with most of my clients once a week, some of them twice a week. I also play the secretary, marketing, and financial role of the company (for now until I can afford to hire someone).

AND I run a household with two boys (one my partner and one our roommate). Thankfully I have some help with that....I have a housekeeper that comes twice a month and she is a godsend and keeps my head on straight.

Suggestion: Get those two "boys" to help you with running the household! You're not their mother, maid, or personal assistant. Seriously, that responsibility should not fall all on you, especially with everything else you've got going on.

AStarfire -

Hehe you gave me my first laugh this morning!!!
My hubby has done a lot more around the house lately. Ever since we adopted our dog he's really stepped it up. My roommate......he's kind of a lost case. My goal this year is for us to be able to get a one bedroom apartment and get rid of the whole roommate situation entirely. I want my privacy! I want to be able to walk naked around my house and not worry about my roommate walking in!!! haha!!!

It's not that my hubby doesn't work...he works 50 hours a week, which is still a lot. And he doesn't love his jobs like I do. Yes my jobs are tiring and can be stressful, but I LOVE what I do. He doesn't. He hates it. So 50 hours a week is extremely taxing on him. I think he's still learning how to not check out on life when he comes home now that he has a family at home he needs to care for after he's done earning the dolla billz. hehe. He was a bachelor for a long time before me. But he's learning. He's an absolutely fantastic partner overall.

OK Finaly...you said this
"The person who suggested the 'mental health day' was a man (no traumas to speak of) that no matter what gives himself one day a WEEK where he answers no one, does his own thing, etc"

The main problem with this sentence is the word "man"......men have this amazing ability to switch off, how about those of us with job, partners, children, homes etc etc? Imagine if we did that...chaos would ensue!!!!

Also - how come I never ever knew they did Oreos in mint? FANTASTIC!

Sorry this has gone off otpic, but the ADHD is probably rubbing off! Good for you TAOA for taking a day off, it is a good habit to get in to and one I am only just learning about (I love my jobs too and sometimes it is hard to switch off from them)

Ummmm Brit...not this man, his boss is kind of a work-a-holic and it was actually his bosses idea..a looooong time ago (I think his boss's exact words were "and on the 7th day we rest" :). Oh I didn't mention that this 'man' was a priest did I? My Bad :)

On the list for the retreat : Mint Oreos. Yet another delicacy the West is keeping from the Brits.

Definitely. Mint Oreo's are SO good. It's similar to thin mint girlscout cookies...but WAY better.

Off topic is totally fine here. I'm feeling better and the discussion is following that.