Resurrection After Rape Community Group
Discussion, question-and-answer, general social support, and journal processing for progress-oriented rape survivors. No crisis, no damaging or triggering conflicts--this is for individuals who want to contribute to collective, cooperative action toward the goal of making actual PROGRESS through rape trauma. Much of this work is based on the book "Resurrection After...
This past Monday night, I had the most powerful experience of my life. Honestly, I felt like I accomplished more in an evening than I have with 4 years of therapy/medication.
I went to a firewalking ceremony. It began with breaking a block of wood. You are supposed to write what is standing in your way, and break through it by building up your spiritual energy. The next task was putting an arrow against the soft spot in your throat with one end against a block (or another arrow against my brothers throat). Once again you build up spiritual energy (n/um) and push forward to break the arrow(s) with your neck.
At this point I was more than ready to walk across the fire. So we went outside and they raked the embers out. You are asked to see the person you want to be at the end of the fire. And you walk through with purpose, with determination. You will not be burned if you walk in this way.
I took one hesitant step and felt the heat on my foot. The rest of the night we danced through the fire, my brother and I dug our feet in, and walked through more times than I can count. There is something powerful beyond words about this entire experience.
After the firewalk was over we prepared for a sweatlodge ceremony. The medicine man, Kat (my friend who led the walk), the man who "ran" the lodge, and I took in the healing powers of grandfather medicine. Then we went into the lodge with approx. 8 others. The rocks had been heating in a fire since the fire we started that afternoon for the walk. We went 6 rounds and put in 50 rocks. Even at the first round I had to cover my face because the heat was too intense. We sang healing songs each round. I was told that if any part of my body felt like it was burning then I should rub it because it was toxins coming out. The third round I felt like my entire body was going to burst into flames. The heat was unbearable. I struggled to rub as much of my arms and legs as I could, while also struggling to breathe. I was convinced that I would not make it through and was going to pass out before they opened the door (although we had a safe word that anyone could say at anytime if they needed to get out).
I had to lay down. Sitting up was too much. So I covered myself with a towel to block some of the heat and I went down to the ground, essentially in the fetal position. For the final 3 rounds I was calm. It was bearable. I noticed that my mind was thinking, which isn't usually a problem in a meditative-type setting. So I decided to leave my body and my thinking brain behind. I let my Spirit rise out, I wrapped it around my brother and swirled around the top of the lodge. This round was the one my brother could not handle. He went in initially without a shirt. He later told me that during the 4th round his body passed its limit. He learned that man against the elements does not work; it must be man with the elements. So he thought that he'd probably pass out, but wouldn't die. And he just gave in. He said he went down to the ground and just gave up, let the steam and the songs take him as he was. He also told me that he felt something envelop him when he did this. I said I knew, it was me.
I woke up smiling. Nothing could/can touch me. I now know what is possible, and what the most powerful medicine is. These words can't even begin to describe. But I wish I could share the transformative power of these ceremonies with all of you.
(Perhaps Matt would like to consider adding a firewalk to the retreat?)
I went to a firewalking ceremony. It began with breaking a block of wood. You are supposed to write what is standing in your way, and break through it by building up your spiritual energy. The next task was putting an arrow against the soft spot in your throat with one end against a block (or another arrow against my brothers throat). Once again you build up spiritual energy (n/um) and push forward to break the arrow(s) with your neck.
At this point I was more than ready to walk across the fire. So we went outside and they raked the embers out. You are asked to see the person you want to be at the end of the fire. And you walk through with purpose, with determination. You will not be burned if you walk in this way.
I took one hesitant step and felt the heat on my foot. The rest of the night we danced through the fire, my brother and I dug our feet in, and walked through more times than I can count. There is something powerful beyond words about this entire experience.
After the firewalk was over we prepared for a sweatlodge ceremony. The medicine man, Kat (my friend who led the walk), the man who "ran" the lodge, and I took in the healing powers of grandfather medicine. Then we went into the lodge with approx. 8 others. The rocks had been heating in a fire since the fire we started that afternoon for the walk. We went 6 rounds and put in 50 rocks. Even at the first round I had to cover my face because the heat was too intense. We sang healing songs each round. I was told that if any part of my body felt like it was burning then I should rub it because it was toxins coming out. The third round I felt like my entire body was going to burst into flames. The heat was unbearable. I struggled to rub as much of my arms and legs as I could, while also struggling to breathe. I was convinced that I would not make it through and was going to pass out before they opened the door (although we had a safe word that anyone could say at anytime if they needed to get out).
I had to lay down. Sitting up was too much. So I covered myself with a towel to block some of the heat and I went down to the ground, essentially in the fetal position. For the final 3 rounds I was calm. It was bearable. I noticed that my mind was thinking, which isn't usually a problem in a meditative-type setting. So I decided to leave my body and my thinking brain behind. I let my Spirit rise out, I wrapped it around my brother and swirled around the top of the lodge. This round was the one my brother could not handle. He went in initially without a shirt. He later told me that during the 4th round his body passed its limit. He learned that man against the elements does not work; it must be man with the elements. So he thought that he'd probably pass out, but wouldn't die. And he just gave in. He said he went down to the ground and just gave up, let the steam and the songs take him as he was. He also told me that he felt something envelop him when he did this. I said I knew, it was me.
I woke up smiling. Nothing could/can touch me. I now know what is possible, and what the most powerful medicine is. These words can't even begin to describe. But I wish I could share the transformative power of these ceremonies with all of you.
(Perhaps Matt would like to consider adding a firewalk to the retreat?)
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A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
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Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...
Well heck the sweatlodge is scary enough. This sounds really cool and amazing Lost but...ehh idk I wouldn't have the guts
We walked on the burning embers after the fire burned down. This has been a tradition in various cultures for thousands of years. Your Spiritual energy is so high, your determination and focus is so steadfast that by the time you get to the fire, there is no question that you can do it.