so today has been one of those days where I don't feel like cutting the air with my strength and good vibe.
i feel really sad. I'm back to questioning why my marriage had to end. I feel like I want to go see him and ask him if he still loves me. I feel like telling him that he is confused.
I feel like beggin again... to get back on track I remember... he cheated on me 2 times in less than 5 months. We were going to therapy he was sitting right next to me he looked at me in the eye and said "I'm staying" "I'm hopeful for us". While fucking this other woman.
Why do I feel like this today? Why do I feel like I can save us when he does not care?
why why why???
i saw him last night after he dropped the kids home. He took them to the beach. That used to be our favorite summer plan. I wanted to jump in his arms. What is happening to me?
I need to get back on track!!
i know it does not depend on me. He did wrong it was bad. But somehow I feel I can live with that. I feel things cannot be the same but could be better. New
oh, please help me. I need to stop thinking like this. Im seeing him tonight and I'm afraid I will do something stupid.
did I mention he still comes home 2 times a week? Stays over, showers, eats and does his laundry? Why do I allow this?
his excuse. He is living at his shop 45 minutes away from home. He comes to see the kids and usually stays over sleeps in their bed.
He says he won't be able to afford a new place for years.
I'm going to D.C. For a wedding tomorrow. 4 hour drive. Never done it before. He is asking me what inn doing there and since I'm not taking the kids I don't want to tell him. He is all sensitive about it. "Oh, well you don't tell?" "How come?"
at the end he said "do whatever, i don't care anyways"
Please bombard me with sanity!!!
also please read the Last entry of my blog: http://divorcemesite.wordpress.com/
October of last year everything blew up in my face. Although things are better in the grand scheme of things, there are still dark days. I still rage. Certain things trigger me. Our marriage counselor and my personal therapist encourage me to look forward. It's easier said than done. I haven't been on this forum for months. The reason I logged back on today was because I fell into the funk in...
Things have been quiet for a year. No anxiety, sleeping really great about myself and our relationship... then out of his mouth... He’s in law enforcement.. we were talking about his work. Promotions, why would they promote one person over another. Someone was promoted before a friend of his and he said he was very good at politics. He kept talking about how dirty politicians are blah blah. I...