so today has been one of those days where I don't feel like cutting the air with my strength and good vibe.
i feel really sad. I'm back to questioning why my marriage had to end. I feel like I want to go see him and ask him if he still loves me. I feel like telling him that he is confused.
I feel like beggin again... to get back on track I remember... he cheated on me 2 times in less than 5 months. We were going to therapy he was sitting right next to me he looked at me in the eye and said "I'm staying" "I'm hopeful for us". While fucking this other woman.
Why do I feel like this today? Why do I feel like I can save us when he does not care?
why why why???
i saw him last night after he dropped the kids home. He took them to the beach. That used to be our favorite summer plan. I wanted to jump in his arms. What is happening to me?
I need to get back on track!!
i know it does not depend on me. He did wrong it was bad. But somehow I feel I can live with that. I feel things cannot be the same but could be better. New
oh, please help me. I need to stop thinking like this. Im seeing him tonight and I'm afraid I will do something stupid.
did I mention he still comes home 2 times a week? Stays over, showers, eats and does his laundry? Why do I allow this?
his excuse. He is living at his shop 45 minutes away from home. He comes to see the kids and usually stays over sleeps in their bed.
He says he won't be able to afford a new place for years.
I'm going to D.C. For a wedding tomorrow. 4 hour drive. Never done it before. He is asking me what inn doing there and since I'm not taking the kids I don't want to tell him. He is all sensitive about it. "Oh, well you don't tell?" "How come?"
at the end he said "do whatever, i don't care anyways"
Please bombard me with sanity!!!
also please read the Last entry of my blog: http://divorcemesite.wordpress.com/
sounds strange to say but I think I'm over the infidelitydday was over 2.5 years ago.first year was survivalsecond year was dealing more w wife's emotional and physical declinethird year.... at some point in the last month or so...I just seem to be, for lack of a better term, "OVER IT"its not that our relationship is good...its not.its not that I forgot. I won'tits not that I forgive...I still...
So now its definatly time to move on. This man is web of lies. I found his secret cell phone last night. I just took my phne the secret phone and left. He called saying it was a work phone. What job u know has prepaid walmart phones? There was a text from a number telling my husband "Im getting in the shower." He texted back "sexy" to that numberI called it and who answers the phone. The same...