Well - that has not happened to me yet BUT it sounds like he did the right thing by 1. not speaking to her and 2. telling you he saw her. He could have said nothing BUT he did!!! That's a good thing - at least I think it is.

You have a right to be nervous about it and I think it sucks that we are the only ones suffering by the affair but that shows the true emotions we have and the homewecker is just a spineless, unemotional witch.

My wife does the same thing anytime she sees the OM, which I think has been twice. Once at the store and once at the park. She has called me each time to tell me and I simply ask her what she's feeling and thinking.

We live in a very small town and this has happened to us several times.
My H didn't tell me until later that night, so the day was over and we were home together.
His reaction was a lot like your H's. It's a process, I was glad he told me. When I asked, he was feeling really stupid for allowing the affair to happen and all the guilt came flooding back! He just wanted to get away as fast as he could,no eye contact ,no hello! Just Run!! Your H's first reaction was to call you - take it as a sign of trying to build trust. If you wonder what he felt, ask him. You may be suprised by his answer...I was!
Don't be afraid to ask, or let him know how it makes you feel. Honesty is the key here. Remember YOU are the one he called in that awful moment and YOU are the one he chose to be with! When I was doubting myself and feeling insecure in our relationship. I asked my H to come home, I needed him to (hug me,hold me,whatever)and he was happy to fill that need. It's very healing, but it's all part of the process!

that hasnt happened to me that i know of yet.. but i dont think so cause we have been doing great communicating lately! but i would hope he would do the same thing call me and let me know .

Well my H never told me until I brought it up to him. Then he was like oh yeah that happened to me. WHAT? I will always remember the first time I saw the OW at a store. (thinking about it gets my gag reflex going) I was so mad. I went and hid in an aisle too! lol but I called my H right away and told him she was there and that he needed to stay on the phone with me so I didn't freak out. I am glad the your H told you. Ask him, what he was thinking when he saw her and ask him why he called you. I hope he came home. : /

My H did come home within a few minutes...I guess I was just freaking a little wondering if after he called did he go and try and find her. One of my good friends was in the same store at the same time when he hid he ran into her and she called me also, so that was good too. I tried to call my sister after he called me but she didn't answer so I jump on here to vent so I was a little calmer for when he did come home. I hate feeling that way. He keeps telling me if he wanted her he would go but she was just something stupid that was there during a bad time in our marriage. Thanks all of you for your advice :)

The OW called my husband last week after 10 months to tell him SHE felt betrayed. Amazing. I simply emailed her and told her not to call our house unless it is to speak to me. Ironically she called from her home phone and my husband passed the number on to me in case I wanted to call her. I'd love to but I'm not sure where to begin.

It's great that he called you to tell you. I would be terribly proud. What a great trust builder ! I sure would let him know.

I think, your husband sounds as if he would have been embarrassed to see her! I think that is good! If so, he feels like it was a stupid thing to have done (the affair) and not some idealized romance like in the movies. I watch too many movies. Remember "Prince of Tids"? Dont watch it right now. He so idealized the affair partner! ukk

This is a really good sign and he should tell you. I tell my H either calling him or as soon as I seem him if I see the OM. We have also discussed what I will say if he should ever approach me and try to talk to me. You can still discuss the feelings you have without fighting. I want my H to tell me those things so that I will be able to reassure him.