
Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity Community Group
A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and try to re-build the relationship.

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My H just called me and said he just ran into the OW at the store. He said he quickly hid down an isle until it was clear. This is the first time he ran into her since. He said he was shaking and didn't know if he should tell me or not since we have been doing so well and he knows how upset I get with any type of reminder. I can't get mad (even though I am) because he will never tell me again. I don't want to fight with him. I just keep thinking...did he think she looked good? Did any feelings come back? Why do I feel like I am the only one suffering here, she went on with her life and sure did doesn't bother him to run into her. Now he hasn't come home yet, I just called him and he answered but I don't want it to seem like I don't trust him.(which I don't) How did anyone else handle this situation?
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You have a right to be nervous about it and I think it sucks that we are the only ones suffering by the affair but that shows the true emotions we have and the homewecker is just a spineless, unemotional witch.
My H didn't tell me until later that night, so the day was over and we were home together.
His reaction was a lot like your H's. It's a process, I was glad he told me. When I asked, he was feeling really stupid for allowing the affair to happen and all the guilt came flooding back! He just wanted to get away as fast as he could,no eye contact ,no hello! Just Run!! Your H's first reaction was to call you - take it as a sign of trying to build trust. If you wonder what he felt, ask him. You may be suprised by his answer...I was!
Don't be afraid to ask, or let him know how it makes you feel. Honesty is the key here. Remember YOU are the one he called in that awful moment and YOU are the one he chose to be with! When I was doubting myself and feeling insecure in our relationship. I asked my H to come home, I needed him to (hug me,hold me,whatever)and he was happy to fill that need. It's very healing, but it's all part of the process!