Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity Community Group
A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and try to re-build the relationship.
We hit rock bottom, I dont know what to do. He says he wants o work thinks out but he has so much doubt that we can do it cause we fight so much. So I gave him a deadline to make up his mind and he still says he wants us but he doesnt know what to do. So I said that I dont want to be wih someone that doesnt know if he wants to be with me. I told him that I am taking the kids and leaving. But I really dont want to go, I want to make this work but we are both so afraid of it not working out this time we have tired so many things but we just argue. Is it ok to try to work things out with someone that has so much doubt. I'm just so afraid of getting hurt again. I just want to get passed this. I dont know if I should stay, Can you still work things through if u both have doubts and fear.I ask him what is he afriad of and he says of losing me and of this not working but I dont ge that why would u have so much doubt about it not working that it stops you from trying to work things out. Dont you lose both ways. I dont know if you understand, I just need some advice.
-
I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
-
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
If he won't do anything to help, you have your answer.
I know it's not easy, but you have to do it for your children.
Good luck,
Reil
I refused to be an option. When he asked for "time", I gave him a week. No way was I going to be in a taste test with the OW, or be part of a pro-con list. He knew I was willing to forgive him, I made that very clear. I think once he knew I was brave enough to stick it out, that helped him as well.
My H became unstuck when I went to talk to my attorney. Once he knew I was serious about having him move out, he pulled his head out of his a$$ and called a counslor. She was a Godsend.
That said, the doubt still remained for a time. If you don't feel doubt and fear, you wouldn't be normal. Would we be able to get past this? Could we really move forward? It takes both spouses working 100% to get through this nightmare. One cannot do it alone, and the betrayed cannot put all the work on the cheater. A marriage is 2 people, and both have to work to fix it.
I refused to be an option. When he asked for "time", I gave him a week. No way was I going to be in a taste test with the OW, or be part of a pro-con list. He knew I was willing to forgive him, I made that very clear. I think once he knew I was brave enough to stick it out, that helped him as well.
My H became unstuck when I went to talk to my attorney. Once he knew I was serious about having him move out, he pulled his head out of his a$$ and called a counslor. She was a Godsend.
That said, the doubt still remained for a time. If you don't feel doubt and fear, you wouldn't be normal. Would we be able to get past this? Could we really move forward? It takes both spouses working 100% to get through this nightmare. One cannot do it alone, and the betrayed cannot put all the work on the cheater. A marriage is 2 people, and both have to work to fix it.
Maybe you just need to allow the anger phase to pass
Maybe you need to look under the anger...for the love sometimes and cry together
Maybe you are both greiving the things you have lost
Maybe you both still want what is still there
Seek counseling