Update: married 32 years. H cheated on me three months after our childs death.That was 5 yrs 7 mo married. Promised, cryed etc never to do it again. Forgave him and trusted him.Found out June 4 of this year that he had an affair for one year with a co-worker ten years ago. Said he saw her 12-15 times outside of work during lunch hours. Travel time ect. saw each other alone 20 minutes max. One year total time seeing her alone 4 - 5 hours,but saw her daily at work. It has been 2 months since DD and I was doing well. Actually had one full week last week of not dwelling on the A. My husband wrote me a note last friday said he loved me and thinks of me daily. Saturday he woke up from a nap and said he had a terrible dream. I asked what it was about and he said he left me. I said do you think that means anything to you? He paced back and forth and said he didn't know if he loved me or if he wanted to be married to me anymore. I asked him if he wanted to leave and he said NO. The more time went on I thought why in the world do I want this man to walk into this house everyday and see me and I know that he doesn't want to be married to me or loves me so I made him leave. He left early Saturday afternoon and I didn't speak to him until 3:00 Sunday. While he was gone I was starting to put two and two together that my husband should be feeling better since I was But he wasn't. His weight has dropped terribly and he looks so unhealthy. Finally I called him and said I know you have lied to me so you might as well confess absolutely everything to me since I just knew that he hasn't told me everything. Well here it goes. After his first affair which I was so devastated with plus a death of a child he had told me how sorry he was and that he would do anything to gain my trust. Well to find out 6 months after the first affair he started to bartend after his bowling league to make extra money. He informed me that while he was bartending that three times three women came in alone to the bar and waited for him to close.I'm sure he was the bartender so they were getting some pretty stiff drinks from him. He got in the car and he kissed these women and touched them on the outside of their clothing. They did the same to him. OMG three women he didn't even know who they were. Met them in one evening and did this. Now I am back to square one. Here I was starting to feel better and even started a topic on how to spice up romance. I can't believe I'm back to square one again. I am absolutely numb. I can't concentrate on anything. I just pace.
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