first off, i am brand new to this site. approximately a month and half ago, i found out my wife was (is) having an affair with someone who she says she met 8 months ago thru her job. i suspected that this was happening 3 months prior. i did not want to confront her with it. through out our relationship, she had always suspected me of being the infidel. we have a wonderful 5 year old boy and i am trying my best for him not to notice that there is something wrong between mommy and daddy. i have admitted to her and apologized about my mistakes and insufficiencies about our relationships. i am now trying my best not to feel worthless. all i know of the person that she did this with is that he is a little older than she is (i am actually 4 years younger than her), has 2 children with his wife of 11 years. i have his email address and that's all i know of him. i really thought she would come clean with everything and tell me how wrong she was and tell me all the secrets she hid behind my back. instead, she tells me how she felt like"walking on eggshells" for the 6 plus years we've been together. i am trying to patch things by letting her see how i've always been and she does agree that she loves the person she's been seeing. i haven't changed at all except for the fact that pay more attention to her needs instead of my job that mainly supports us. from what she said about the guy that she had affair with, his wife was also the bread winner of the family. my problem is wether or not i should believe her that their relationship is over. there are still tell tales about her behavior that there are still plenty of secrets and every time i express to her how messed up i was feeling because of the things that i still don't know, she gets upset that i am still holding her infidelity against her. i admitted to her that i 'need' counseling and if not we both do in order to save this 'family' we made. her reason of not giving all of the details about their relationship is that i may retaliate towards the guy. yes, i am capable of doing this, but i choose not to. i have plenty of other questions for her but i don't want to irate the situation more by doing so. am i being taken for a spin still or should i just let it go. every day i am trying to forgive what she has done. i still don't understand why she wouldn't come clean with everything.
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