I found out my husband and his coworker, a girl he carpooled with every day, were spending time together after work, talking several times a day, etc. With reluctance he admitted 'he kissed her' (I don't believe that was the extent of it) and admitted he had fallen in love with her. I admit our marriage had many problems well before this, and I had even told him I was not sure that I still was in love with him. Most nights he would go to bed early and I would come to bed well after he was asleep (I was usually hoping), so needless to say he wasn't getting much intimacy in the bedroom either. He said he was lonely and needed someone to talk to and make him feel good and she provided it. He has begged me to work on the marriage, says he loves me very much and wants to make it work, and is depressed and feels awful for hurting me and her too. We have been seeing a counselor for about 3 weeks, trying to work it out for our kids. This morning I went out in the garage to talk to him and found him smoking marijuana, which he knows I am not okay with. I wigged out again and told him I could not continue to work on the marriage when I feel he continues to be deceptive and shady. I'm really feeling like I don't want to put myself in this position any longer but it kills me to think about putting my kids thru a divorce, and a part of me feels passionately for my husband. I am torn up inside!
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