I'm still angry. I'm wondering if I need to just call it quits and accept the fact that I cannot forgive my husband. I'm angry that he has forgiven himself and can move on, but I can't.
Last night we had a huge argument because I finally admitted to him that I had confided in someone about his indiscreation that I had initially lied about. I finally admitted to him that this person knew and he got really upset. What my husband doesn't understand is that when I foudn out, I wasn't concerned about protecting his image.....not in the least. My mindset during that time was to talk to other women who were going thru a divorce and I wanted advice on that. I figured people would find out that we had split up eventually. I never thought in a million years that I would still be with him. I think it is very selfish of him to even think about HIS feelings during that time. If he were so concerned about his image and how others' viewed him, then he shouldn't have been involved in a sexting relationship in the first place.
I'm also tired of the triggers....everywhere I turn, there are reminders. I see that Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are divorcing because of a testing relationship. My favorite show had an infidelity issue on it. Movies that I watch deal with it.....it just angers me.
My husband is a cheater...he's in that "percentage" and it's pissing me off. I think that I deserve better. No matter how often he apologizes,,,the past cannot be changed. He betrayed our family, our marriage and my trust. I look at my little, 7-year-old boy and I realize that he is the only reason that I'm here. I don't enjoy sex with my husband anymore because I always think of his sick fantasies with "her".
I'm so confused....I feel like packing up my belongings and my son and leaving.....this crap is for the birds!