Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity Community Group
A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and try to re-build the relationship.
I want to wish all of you much happiness and healing in your relationships. I hope this site will continue to be a healthy forum for everyone to share the good times and bad - but continue on the road to rebuilding.
The new founder of this group is "lovingagain".
I'm going to keep my account open for a few more days but I will then close the account. I just think it is better to close it and this way I'm taking a definite solid step toward the future and trying to turn my head away from the hell of the last 2-1/2 years (although never forgetting it).
I want to thank everyone who has helped me, commented on my journals, answered my questions, and helped keep my head on straight when I was in despair. I know many of you are still in your first year after finding out your worst fears turned out to be true. Don't give up. Hard as it is to believe, time does help.
I would just like to mention one thing - for me, at least, one of the major steps I took toward a positive resolution was to stay off the Infidelity page. I know, I know. We all started there, and the people in that community need a forum to express their rage and sadness. Eventually, after making the decision to stay in their relationship, they may come to the Rebuilding community. But that has to be their decision, to MOVE from Infidelity to Rebuilding. I found it extremely difficult to remain positive after visiting Infidelity and reading the stories and re-living my experience over and over. And a lot of those heartbreaking stories are so much worse than mine and I would internalize them and share their heartbreak and pain, and as selfish as this may sound, it wasn't doing me any good. Also you just can't communicate to someone who just found out, what it's like to be 1 or 2 or 3 years post d-day. The pain is just too intense. If you are serious about actually rebuilding your marriage then you have to minimize the negative thoughts - and they come to you by themselves anyway, why nudge them over and over. I did not find it to be helpful to me. Just remember what this particular page is for - "A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and TRY TO RE-BUILD THE RELATIONSHIP."
My best wishes to you all, and have a great holiday. Stay positive!
Carol54
The new founder of this group is "lovingagain".
I'm going to keep my account open for a few more days but I will then close the account. I just think it is better to close it and this way I'm taking a definite solid step toward the future and trying to turn my head away from the hell of the last 2-1/2 years (although never forgetting it).
I want to thank everyone who has helped me, commented on my journals, answered my questions, and helped keep my head on straight when I was in despair. I know many of you are still in your first year after finding out your worst fears turned out to be true. Don't give up. Hard as it is to believe, time does help.
I would just like to mention one thing - for me, at least, one of the major steps I took toward a positive resolution was to stay off the Infidelity page. I know, I know. We all started there, and the people in that community need a forum to express their rage and sadness. Eventually, after making the decision to stay in their relationship, they may come to the Rebuilding community. But that has to be their decision, to MOVE from Infidelity to Rebuilding. I found it extremely difficult to remain positive after visiting Infidelity and reading the stories and re-living my experience over and over. And a lot of those heartbreaking stories are so much worse than mine and I would internalize them and share their heartbreak and pain, and as selfish as this may sound, it wasn't doing me any good. Also you just can't communicate to someone who just found out, what it's like to be 1 or 2 or 3 years post d-day. The pain is just too intense. If you are serious about actually rebuilding your marriage then you have to minimize the negative thoughts - and they come to you by themselves anyway, why nudge them over and over. I did not find it to be helpful to me. Just remember what this particular page is for - "A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and TRY TO RE-BUILD THE RELATIONSHIP."
My best wishes to you all, and have a great holiday. Stay positive!
Carol54
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Even though I find my self on the infidelity page less often I agree with you. It only keeps the painful emotions stired. I find that I have better days when I stay away. I have enough reminders with out having to constantly re-live the painful emotions. Good luck to you! Prayers to you!
I wish you all the best life has to offer!
Thank you for being the light for me and so many of us at DS.
God Bless!