Okay- I am mainly a lurker here because all of you post whatever I am thinking and I get my support that way. Here is my tough situation that I need to overcome. My husband's infidelity occurred at the very end of my pregnancy until our baby was a little over two months old. I discovered everything in February (the baby was 9 months old then). Anyhow, I have hit a really rough road here and I want to rebuild- As we often talk about- the roller coaster is going DOWN!!! My mother came to visit - she hadn't seen me since this all happened and said not one word or gave me an ounce of support (ie hug) and I mentioned it to her that it hurt me. I don't have much support here because we have no family and I don't want the community to know. I really needed that hug but I know better than to expect others to help me heal. The second thing that is going on is we are in the middle of the 1 year anniversary of this all occurring. Like an idiot, I decide to print up baby pictures and work on the baby's book (he's our third so it takes me a while!) Looking at the pictures and seeing him not smiling and knowing what he was up to while we (or should I say I ) brought this precious gift here is killing me! I feel he is robbing me the ability to enjoy looking at these pictures and smile at the memories. What can I do to get that back. Its so not fair to me or the baby! I let him know I was angry- He asks me if I am angry enough to want to leave again (I went through that a lot). He hugs and says he's sorry and he can't take it back. I know he is sorry but URGH! I read how you guys are having these huge reconnection moments and I don't see it. I feel like the day to day is so much better- we are more of a family, he came back to us- in a sense, but I sense this need for a BIG to do from him to let me know he gets it- its a new time. I just don't want to tell him- I want him to do it! Any suggestions for him/ me/ us. He is doing some reading on the train to work and is willing to do anything I ask. Wow-- I rambled on everything. I just am feeling so much right now and I don't want to go back to a bad place.
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