I don't know exactly what to say or what I'm looking for - I just can't let myself get completely happy again. Either I think about all the "happy" times he had with her (its makes me soooo sad to know he got that kind of joy from someone else) or how I don't want to be the fool again (I feel vulnerable and angry). Anytime we're doing something fun I get little, or maybe kinda big, feelings of a black cloud. And then, even worse, I just break down and hate life, hate myself, hate feeling like I've lost a good life forever...I guess I'm just reaching out for some advice on how to get past this. I have an appt with a psych next month, but I know meds are going to fix it alone. The quick story: We were apart during most of our engagement, we're in the military, and right after we were married and living together I caught him - it had been going on for 4 of our 6 month dating/engagement period. It had ended right before we started living together, but hadn't REALLY ended. At first it was rough because he didn't acknowledge how bad it was. Now, months later, he's completely sorry and wants to make things work so bad. I really can't say he continues to be the problem - now its whats going on inside me. We've been to several counseling sessions, but I think I'm going thru something stronger, like PTSD?? Any advice will be appreciated, thanks.
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